The commander glared down upon us through his red-tinted sunglasses. “Somebody discharged in the showers,” he finally said. “Obviously whoever did it learned this at home. His old man taught him. That’s the only excuse.”
This is a fantastic series. I am amazed at how similar my experience is during the 3 weeks I spent in the Turkish army boot camp back in 2010. Even the turd in the shower story 😭...
Different language, different religion, but totally same culture 😄I think the geography dictates how we live and experience things, regardless of the country we are citizens of.
You were in the Turkish army! Ha, we almost overlapped. Thanks, Vefa. I have no doubt that a lot of that day-to-day Catch-22esque weirdness is common to all army experiences (although I have to say I didn’t know that taking shits in showers was universal to the human condition!)
And you make an interesting point—that the geography, the land itself, trumps everything else. I can see that
Sounds like being K4ed for asthma, and them making our troop’s lives miserable. We don’t sleep on our beds because it takes too long to starch, but if we're caught sleeping on the Winter floor we’re bust as well. They would put mud on our polished-by-individual-tile floor, for failing the bed inspection, or for sleeping on the floor. There was no winning.
Oh yes, I remember those bed inspections and the varieties of harassment (I didn't have to deal with any of it because I was older than the other guys)...
Funniest story I heard took place in a sentry outpost, when a bunch of guys carried a bed out of the outpost with the conscript still sleeping in it (he was a notoriously heavy sleeper). The guy woke up to find himself in the middle of a football field
You're the second commenter to confirm that the turd in shower is common to all boot camps. I hope that that isn't connected to the Marquis de Sade in any way...
We did indeed get issued pocket knives, although if I remember right they were so harmless that you could probably get one through a lax airport security.
No Gerber boot daggers for us. Only Zastavas.
No deployment into war for me, just sentry duty on a narrow section of the Green Line, which was its own uniquely weird experience
Ha ha. I reported someone for abusing his troops, and then I was suddenly investigated for someone else's turd in the pool. The gravity of it all then, so absurd now.
Well-written piece. Parts of it sounds as if colonels and those in charge have run out of an ounce of belief in any cause... as if they know their efforts and yours are doomed so they make a caricature of themselves. Interlaced with humourous elements, the one call everyone fears... Any soldier's mother calling and making complaints.
That may be, but they've been pretty committed to their caricatures for a long time. One thing that can't be denied is their impressive staying power. As for the mothers, they rule the roost and are probably the most feared antagonist of all :)
This is a fantastic series. I am amazed at how similar my experience is during the 3 weeks I spent in the Turkish army boot camp back in 2010. Even the turd in the shower story 😭...
Different language, different religion, but totally same culture 😄I think the geography dictates how we live and experience things, regardless of the country we are citizens of.
You were in the Turkish army! Ha, we almost overlapped. Thanks, Vefa. I have no doubt that a lot of that day-to-day Catch-22esque weirdness is common to all army experiences (although I have to say I didn’t know that taking shits in showers was universal to the human condition!)
And you make an interesting point—that the geography, the land itself, trumps everything else. I can see that
That day I was forced to polish a long, metal urinal, my efforts occasionally interrupted by someone pissing. Oh, what sweet memories...
The not-so-golden shower. Sounds like a hazing ritual
Sounds like being K4ed for asthma, and them making our troop’s lives miserable. We don’t sleep on our beds because it takes too long to starch, but if we're caught sleeping on the Winter floor we’re bust as well. They would put mud on our polished-by-individual-tile floor, for failing the bed inspection, or for sleeping on the floor. There was no winning.
Oh yes, I remember those bed inspections and the varieties of harassment (I didn't have to deal with any of it because I was older than the other guys)...
Funniest story I heard took place in a sentry outpost, when a bunch of guys carried a bed out of the outpost with the conscript still sleeping in it (he was a notoriously heavy sleeper). The guy woke up to find himself in the middle of a football field
Oh, yeah, seen that done too, just outside though.
It seems that all basic training models were designed by the Marquis de Sade.
We had a secret shiter that floated a log in the shower all through basic.
We never caught him ,
But he sure had a prize turd.
You guys got issued pocket knifes?
We had to buy ours at the PX.
By the time I was deployed I had a nice Gerber boot dagger....
All is good that ends well
However,I still hate the mud.
Ha!
You're the second commenter to confirm that the turd in shower is common to all boot camps. I hope that that isn't connected to the Marquis de Sade in any way...
We did indeed get issued pocket knives, although if I remember right they were so harmless that you could probably get one through a lax airport security.
No Gerber boot daggers for us. Only Zastavas.
No deployment into war for me, just sentry duty on a narrow section of the Green Line, which was its own uniquely weird experience
Ha ha. I reported someone for abusing his troops, and then I was suddenly investigated for someone else's turd in the pool. The gravity of it all then, so absurd now.
The gravity of being investigated for someone else's turd. That's downright allegorical...
I'm still baffled by other servicemen stealing our frozen jocks off the line.
To each his kink...
Well-written piece. Parts of it sounds as if colonels and those in charge have run out of an ounce of belief in any cause... as if they know their efforts and yours are doomed so they make a caricature of themselves. Interlaced with humourous elements, the one call everyone fears... Any soldier's mother calling and making complaints.
That may be, but they've been pretty committed to their caricatures for a long time. One thing that can't be denied is their impressive staying power. As for the mothers, they rule the roost and are probably the most feared antagonist of all :)
Thank you for sparing us the giant turd 💩
*trying to figure out how to insert photo into comment*